Thursday, March 25, 2010

Girl, Interrupted- My version

Life gave me a not-so-subtle bitch slap last year. I deserved it. It was coming for a long time.

Life has a knack for that, doesn't it? You think you know yourself pretty well. I got busy in my life. My complicated life. The assault came in the form of a severe injury that put me in the OR twice and in house arrest for 4 months. Imprisoned by my wheelchair, I had plenty of time to dwell on things. I couldn't do much else.
Suddenly, my career might be over or drastically changed. Physically, I may never be the same. I worried and stewed and cried and cried some more. I took mental inventory of my life.
Marriage. Check!
Kids. Check!
Career. Check!
House. Check!
The over-achiever that I am accomplished marriage/2 kids/house in 3 years. I even got married and had a baby in one year- isn't that efficient?
These are all admirable and IMPORTANT things. But still there's something missing............... (if you have the answer, please insert here- I am open to suggestions).

My therapist, YES, my therapist, gives me homework assignments. He knows I am extremely Type A and will do almost anything if it resembles a school project.
Long story short- I am an anxious/mildly depressed product of a dysfunctional household with Daddy issues. (How's that for a clinical diagnosis?)
My homework assignments usually involve me getting out more and investing in my hobbies.

Anyways, with my homework assignment on my brain and plenty of time to dwell on things, I dreamed of plenty of things I would do when I was back on my feet. Literally and figuratively. The near-death of my mother at the end of 2009 only solidified these thoughts.

It felt like someone had slapped me so hard all the marbles went a'rollin' and when my eyes came back into focus, someone had changed the picture. I was seeing something entirely new. Early midlife crisis? Probably. Hey, the earlier the better. I'm glad that life gave me the beating of the century in order for me to see what I wanted for my future before it was too late to do anything about it.

A few weeks before my injury last summer, I spent a few hours helping to build a universally accessible playground in my community. I tried to recruit my family but the only one who came through was my Mom. (Shout out to you Mom- you rock!) I performed 3 hours of back-breaking asphalt-laying labor. I sweated and stank to high heaven, but I never felt closer to God (to be PC, insert preferred diety/lack of diety here). I'd been bitten by the humanitarian vampire! Glamoured, intoxicated, and now addicted.
2010 began with many resolutions for me. Some I had inclinations for in the past, some are new. But 2009 lit a fire under my arse. I am wasting no time making them happen.

Check out Crowdrise to see what I am up to. There's a link over there (on the right) I also have some other ideas up my sleeve...... more on that later.

Me reinvented. Refreshing.

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